How to Get Your Mind In Sync With Your Desires

All I wanted was to be aligned with my true self rather than living from a place of should’s and have to’s.  I wanted this for a long time and yet my deepest desires remained at arm’s length for far too long.  I tried different approaches like self-help courses, seminars, and workshops.  While I learned amazing things from all of these resources, I was still living in the world of obligations and self-denial.

I did a very good job at coming up with limiting stories that supported why I could not create the things that I really wanted.  So I began to shrink my desires into limited expressions of my true self.

At the height of my despair, I discovered a very powerful mindset technique that assisted me with aligning with my desires.

Cultivate the mindset that supports the manifestation of your desires.


Carol Dweck, a leading researcher in the field of motivation, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and author of Mindset, The New Psychology of Success defines mindset as “A set of beliefs or a way of thinking that determines one’s behavior, outlook, and mental attitude”.   She goes on to teach the concept of fixed and growth mindsets.

Essentially, people with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and circumstances are established and cannot be changed no matter how hard they try. They say and believe things like:

  • My money situation will always be this way.
  • I will never be able to change my life.
  • My health will never improve.

On the opposite spectrum, those with a growth mindset know that they can learn and grow if they invest intentional time and action.  They firmly believe that they can get better and that they have the ability to figure things out.


Here are some additional examples of fixed and growth mindset language:



I was stuck in a fixed mindset around my desires primarily because I was not aware of fixed and growth mindsets. I realized that I held a belief that I could not move past the limitations that were passed on to me by my family of origin.  I also thought that I couldn’t recover from past mistakes. It became obvious to me that I had a fixed mindset about my perceived limitations and forward movement.  Shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset allowed me to see and act beyond my self-imposed limitations.

What about you?

Now that you’re aware of fixed and growth mindsets, here are a few questions to reflect on:

  • Do you have a fixed or growth mindset around your desires?
  • How are you limiting or blocking your desires from taking their physical form?
  • How did these mindsets come to be?
  • What growth mindsets can you shift into instead?

In conclusion, creating your desires is not about whether or not you have the ability to do so. It’s about the mindset that you approach your desires with. The way to create your desires is, to begin with, a growth mindset.


Sources: The Flourishing Center, Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D, and my personal journey.


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